Pay attention to words.
The last three years have been especially difficult (health-wise) for us and therefore for me. In the process of dealing with it I hear the few, but horrifically hateful, "curses" (it's the best word I have for it) thrown at us by a couple of people who have desired to put me in my place for not regarding them in the place they wish to be. Phrases like "if you don't ________ your family will suffer for your disobedience." Phrases like, "you haven't suffered enough so you need to..." ... accusations against my parental decisions or health wise decisions ... only twice has it happened and they were both years ago but I remember....
And it is difficult for me. I want to bring them pain in ways I know how. I want to help them feel what I am feeling knowing it will just reduce me to the picture of the animal so many receive as they view someone lose it. Revenge is a dish served best cold and I am happy to say throughout my adult life I have very few orders to fill. But I want those people to especially hurt because I know they celebrate our struggles and vindicate their hatred as if this is somehow proof they heard from God in their hatred of us. I want to hurt them deeply. Yet I know they probably have no clue what is going on and would be innocent of my rage ... because it is a mere projection of what I feel onto a target of my own delusion.
But I would not have ammunition for this struggle had those words not been said. And so I must remind myself and maybe we can all learn...
Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one. Colossians 4:6
Unless it edifies (builds up) ... shut my mouth. My words said in spite may, in some slight chance, cost me my life but will certainly cost my intended target much misery during very painful times.
That is my take on this anyways.
Post a Comment